Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize