I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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