If i come over, it means nothing
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I need water and some morals
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