I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize