Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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