he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
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I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Two words: nipple clamps
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