So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize