My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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