whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
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Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
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Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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