oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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