Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
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Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
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Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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