It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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