This is not my ceiling
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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