I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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