3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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