Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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