i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
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I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
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you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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