I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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