You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
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At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
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Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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