I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
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Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
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Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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