hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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