smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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