a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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