I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize