Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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