If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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