Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize