I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
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somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
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you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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