Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
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Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
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Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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