I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize