You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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