i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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