She's JV to your varsity
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think my vagina is haunted
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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