I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
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theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
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Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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