All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize