You smell like a Billy Joel song
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize