don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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