i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
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I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
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Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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