Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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