At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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