Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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