Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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