Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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