God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize