are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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