Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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