Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
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dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
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I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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