Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
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I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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