If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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