so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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